Well, I’m back! I had a bit of a break as I am working on some other projects, and I am also enjoying the summer! I hope you are too. In this blog post, I wanted to concentrate on a subject that most of us have dealt with at one time or another.
Blame. Fault. Guilt. Shame. These are emotions that many of us feel from time to time. Even though it’s perfectly natural to feel some level of these emotions every now and then, please don’t make it a practice of dwelling in these emotions for too long because they can be damaging to your mind, body and soul.
While writing this blog post, I remembered something that many of us did when growing up; we would blame each other for things that went wrong. It was very easy to point the finger at the other person in the room so that you wouldn’t get into trouble for something. However, as an adult, the weight of guilt as it connects with blame can be very heavy because it takes on a totally different meaning.
In the adult world, blame, fault, guilt and shame can feel as heavy as a boulder on our backs because we carry those emotions deeply especially when it relates directly to our children or someone we love. When we think of how something that took a negative turn could have been done differently, it can cause us to feel extremely bad and here comes the blame game. You start thinking in hindsight which is always 20/20. You say to yourself, “Why did I do that?” or “Why didn’t I speak up” or “Why didn’t I have time for him/her?” or “Why didn’t I do things this way or that way?” These moments can cause a lot of pain, anguish and suffering.
What I have come to realize is blaming yourself for things does you no good because oftentimes what you are blaming yourself for is not within your control. However, if something happens by mistake that is within your control, it still doesn’t do you any good to blame yourself. Forgive yourself and move on because EVERYONE makes mistakes. It’s a part of the human condition.
Here are 10 ways to keep yourself out of the blame game:
- Recognize the problem.
- Pray about the problem.
- Don’t replay the moment in your mind over and over again.
- If another person was involved, ask them for forgiveness.
- Meditate on the fact that God loves you and forgive yourself.
- Realize that you are NOT perfect.
- Flood your space with positive images and thoughts.
- Do not dwell on the problem and do your best.
- Concentrate on another subject and change your environment.
- LET IT GO!
I understand the emotions that go with blame are very real and believe me, I’m not making light of them. However, they do not have to overtake and consume you. Again, not one human being is perfect, and my hope is that you keep yourself out of the blame game. Remember to LET IT GO! Live, laugh, love and pray.
God Bless You with Good Health and Wellness,
Antoinette Shar’ron Johnson
“Empowering, inspiring, motivating and uplifting your mind, body and spirit!”